Lawnmowing and Mr. Ugly: the unaccredited farce

-It looks like I'm back. My last blog was sort of pointless, so today we have an actual story for the title story. I think I'm getting the hang of Blogging, so my blogs will probably become increasingly duller and duller until one of you guys works up the nerve to tell me that I'm getting a little rusty. Anyway, see what you think:

-We are still trying to include Kai in our prayers, and all of us are hoping. Again, don't give up hope, Scott & co.!

-I shall now try to begin to explain to you in plain words(I wanted a live video feed, but my dang mom shut the whole operation down with my mouse over the button labeled 'BUY*'. The total cost -yes, camera and everything- would have cost (L)2,569.99.Okay, maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration and okay, maybe I'm going a bit overboard with this, but there you go. Anyway, here it is:



-8:30 and time to coax Mr. ugly out of his lair. I crawl slowly through the uber-expensive equipment/cheap junk piled around this holy grail of ugly lawnmowers, talking calmly and reassuringly, saying things like 'Mr. Uuugly...' a growl issues from the center of his fortress. I find him. Though I have witnessed this sight many times, I can not resist shuddering. Grease-n-grass encases the entire upper half of him, while the bottom consists of a large bowl-like metal thing with a blade in the middle. The wheels are screwed to the outside of the bowl, and the motor is screwed to the top. The handle sticks out at an unlikely angle, and there are many other battle scars he has from what he likes to think is pursuing evildoers at astonishing speeds of 2+ mph. Like I said, he has many battle scars, but from his point of view, that's not a big deal for what he accomplishes- He does effortlessly behead over 500,000 enemies weekly. Anyway, I carefully dragged him out of the garage, thinking thoughts of gigantic gory battles with Mr. Ugly in the middle of it(I swear he can read minds... Oh, well, it's worth a try.). I yell "RESUME CHASE!" and yank the cord. Mr. Ugly belches, coughs, and roars to life! Despite his need to be shaken every half pass, he does have a surprisingly powerful engine. I sigh with relief, and start mowing. Though you do need to be careful of the fact that he has only 3 wheels(both physically and mentally), the hard part is over-! After mowing, I cruise into the garage, leave Mr. Ugly at the outside of his home(he doesn't like escorts) and go do whatever. Whew!

-It looks like that's about all I can say, so I guess I'm going to go do whatever. Bye for now, and good luck with everything!

jr.high: ups & downs

- Hi, I guess I'm back in business with my bumbling, meandering, and somewhat twisted musings. I guess you're wondering what the picture at the right is already, so I'll tell you that it's from the 'Google Play' thing they have under the Blogger settings. I'm sure you've all seen this before. It looked pretty interesting, and so I decided to check it out. I came across many funny pictures, but this was among the funniest. It is now my display picture, as it symbolizes... well I guess it doesn't really symbolize anything. Anyway, that 'play' thing is sorta cool. Check it out sometime.

- I am glad to say that I have finally decided which soccer team to devote my life to- thanks to Uncle Nigel. I've decided that, due to the long history, the fact that it is (arguably, as mentioned by Uncle Nigel) the most storied team in history, and the good fans, the new, impressionable fan-in-the-making goes to Liverpool. Thanks Uncle Nigel- that was great. I hope to have an addiction by the end of the next game I watch!

- Now for the title story("Oooh, Ahhh. Thank goodness he's gotten on track, or we'd be here through the second coming with our dry eyeballs still pointing at the computer monitor." Well, thank you for your love and support. I hope you're happy![here I go again.]). I now have toiled up the icy slopes of sixth grade, only to reach the top and find Mr. Kleinart(principal, in charge of "making everyone feel safe") & Mr. Hill(vice principal, in charge of school security, and in charge of making everybody feel as though they should be put in a barrel with their stuff and rolled from class to class instead of being literally rolled into a ball with their papers and binder and tossed into a freight elevator with all their fellow student-binder balls to get from class to class) standing there with cattle prods, ready to zap you until you fall off of the cliff of seventh grade. At least they've cracked down on Swirlies. You probably forgot whatever the heck I was saying during that uber-long pair of parentheses(and whatever the heck was between them), so why don't you check and see so that you can say "That was one dumb joke!" and get it over with. Was I right? I am so goood! Anyway, here are all my teachers & staff in order from best to worst(I seem to have developed a way of saying things about people or stuff that I have an opinion on that only insults people. I hope It wears off soon!). You can draw your own conclusions.

Sister Golightly: My favorite teacher; is LDS and is very funny. Likes whatever you do(or maybe that's an act-? Oh, well, she's my favorite teacher anyhow.) is the GT(Gifted & Talented- otherwise dubbed 'geeks in training' by other jealous, misinformed ignorant laymen) teacher at MJHS(the jr. high). Loves teaching.


Mr.Quesnell(pronounced 'kuhnell'): Is my English teacher; loves reading and writing- In fact, they are second only to being a fishing guide. You can't get much better than that- especially with fishing guides.

Mr. Lawton- Is my science teacher; likes law & order and the metric system equally well; also likes to kid around- but only on his spare time! When the bell rings, you'd better stop that horsing around-!

Mrs. Quesenbury: Is my Geography teacher; lenient about poster deadlines, but the friendliness ends there. She's one of those teachers that will personally roll you up in your student-binder ball and shove you down the laundry chute marked 'naughty'(yes, as your naughtiness increases, you get referred from the class of the freight-elevetor to the lower class.).

Mr. Jackson: loves to make little kid's skin turn red from woodworking tool-burns(occur when you get wood shavings all over your hands, then rub them all up and down a metal or plastic handle)-actually, any handle will work.

Mr. what's-his-name: I can never remember his name for fear of retaliation, but he teaches health. Is the 7th grade football coach- that may be where he got his hard-as-a-rock characteristics(either there or from the 'big house')- makes you do 20 pushups at the slightest hint that you are 'naughty'.


I'm not even going to mention the P.E. teacher.

That finishes it up! If you liked my blog, give me a happy review- if not, read it over and over again until you do-! Thanks again, Uncle Nigel, for that e-mail!