-Hello, and welcome to Seth-land! I hope you will enjoy my latest thoughts that I've just now written down and broadcast all around the world. Here we go:
-I shall now report the two funniest things that happened today from funniest to least funny. First, I stapled my finger. Really. I was sitting around, being an absolute nuisance, when my mom thought up something for me to do. "Hey, Seth,"she yelled. "Could you fix this stapler?" I looked at the stapler. It was jammed. "OK, Mom," I said, opening it up, popping the staple out with a pen, and promptly putting my finger over the output and closing the staple compartment. There's this one really, really, really dumb thing about staplers that you see and then laugh about because it could seriously injure you someday, and that is that to close the staple compartment, you have to push the metal thing all the way down- and a staple comes out when you do. End of story. It's surprisingly painless, until it starts hurting. Second, I found a note in our recycling bin -when about to take the recycling/trash stuff back into the garage- along with a bunch of those big Costco animal cracker jars-one of them squished and mangled. Fearing that our trash man had developed anger issues and needed to be referred to a counseling center, I read the note. It said, "Sorry, won't fit in truck". Har, har! Funny, huh?
-After numerous debates among various members of our family on what the new baby's name should be, I am here to stop the madness. Anyone know a really good boy name that neither my mom nor my dad will not completely hate? Any name that I haven't thought of would help.
-Hey, out there, could you comment on my blog? I know it seems like a waste of time, but I need something to do-though if my mom has told you about the cute way I check on my blog every 2 seconds, I don't need something to do quite that badly.
-I've been thinking lately, and I've come up with a few strange questions that I can't come up with answers for. Here they are, along with small editorials here and there:
#1: How did our primitive ancestors come up with smoking? As John Bytheway puts it, maybe it went something like this:
'Hey, Bill,' yells a primitive ancestor. 'Hey, look at this plant.' He takes a bite of it. 'Hey, I feel funny!' He then sets it on fire, carves a pipe for it, and puts it into his mouth so that he can 'feel funny' all the time.
#2: When and under what mental incapabilities did someone invent a bad word for poop and a bad word for pee? You might as well say 'poop' instead of getting in deep trouble just to be tough at the same time as stating that you must use the porcelain.
#3: Why do we lie? All it does is make us more and more cautious, and then you can't do anything at all, including talk, while you analyze what someone just said to see if you think they might be telling a whopper. It also makes us so darn mad at each other-! I think being mad is turning into one of Satan's most successful tools- as my mom points out during scripture study, look at what happened to the Lamanites when they got mad- their population is decimated, they retreat into the depths of the Land of Nephi, and they are nice and humble doing their little wicked things over there until somebody comes to stir them up again. Same story with the Palestinians- stop being too mad to think and leave that desolate little piece of land to the Israeli's and move somewhere else, for heaven's sake!
#4: How does a speedometer work? Okay, okay, this one is a simple one- compared to the rest- and no, I do not want a lecture on this one. In fact, if you're tempted to give me a science lecture, just pretend I never said it and I'll probably delete it in time.
From here, it only gets worse, so I'm cutting it off at that! (As I say, applause is appropriate at this time.)
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6 comments:
ouch!!! stapled finger! Emily just read your whole blog and thought it was funny and great!!!
Hey Seth nice blog, come and see mine!!!!! I made a slideshow of all the pictures I took and edited!!!!!
~Emily
You should compare repair notes with Uncle Stu, who somehow contrived to drop the cordless phone in a full tub of water while trying to repair it. The lesson, as always: avoid work around home at all costs.
One time I sewed my finger with the sewing machine. The needle went through and then broke, so I had a piece of needle on both sides and the thread going through the middle. Ouch. Anyway, I don't know the answers to any of your questions, especially the speedometer one. And Nige, I was the one who dropped the cordless phone into the bathtub, although I wasn't trying to fix it.
The 16 year old Cecily sez - "Palestinians gotta live somewhere, too". On staplers, one guy at a job I used to have said "either we need new staplers, or I need more stapler training".
Aha Gillian! Last I heard, an unruly wave leapt from the tub and doused the phone.
The nice thing about staplers is that once each of us has punctured our pinkie, we are more careful when ministering to them, so it only gets to hurt us once.
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