Friday, November 16, 2007

The Uncle Nigel Trip: BOOM, BOOM, BOOM

-Sorry about that small(large) lapse in blogging- I've been working overtime for my mom, who has turned out to be an evil employer, hungry for poor boys that need money, in disguise. I've been having a great time during thanksgiving weekend, especially since we won the rose bowl. I also think we were all pretty happy when we found that the Campbells would be coming and that we would not, after all, have only 18 people attending the Thanksgiving feast at grandma's. We(Campbell kids, Mumford kids, & Dixon kids) are also proud to say that we unlocked 2 party games while waiting for the Apple Cup.

-I'm on what is known now as 'the big trip', and am having a good time so far. As it turns out, Delta has a program for unaccompanied minors that has people to escort you(rather forcibly) to the next gate. My mom thought that the personnel would be a bit too overloaded/stressed and might forget all about escorting somebody. They went against all doubts, however, and were there waiting for me, smiling their special tight-lipped airline attendant smiles and ready to go. It seemed like they weren't doing much of anything and the reason that they were stressed was nothing in particular, but since I'm just an ignorant layman, I'm sure I missed something. The Bowmans seem to be doing well over here in Rochester, and I'm having a good time, too. It looks like I'll be traveling more these three months than my mom has for quite some time. Well, I'm glad I've been able to blog right now, so hi from Rochester & I'll end with a jaunty tip of the hat. Toodledoo!

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Winter

-Ah, winter, the season of Costco replacement snow tires, exploding pipes, frozen paperboys who forgot their coats at school and are consequently skidding down the Jones' hill at high speeds in their dad's old sweatshirt with holes in the pocket, collecting injuries & cops with ordinance fees as they go, and(sigh) it's also the time of year when we rush around in a frenzy, dumping our money into large pits(our friends, neighbors, & people with lots of money that we hate but would like to make a good impression on) in the name of spreading joy to people that don't even notice because they're too busy spreading joy to other people(or they're on vacation in Jamaica). After Christmas is my favorite time of year , since you can kick back & relax with all your Christmas stuff, with not a care in the world but going to whatever Wazzu basketball games there are, hoarding/eating/stealing candy, and planning cool things to do on New Year's Eve/the rest of the time we'll be staying at Gma & Gpa's house- which will be a whole lot less cramped with the banquet room, I'm excited to see what it will be like with it.

-On an entirely different note, Jared has now become closely acquainted with the feeling that comes- whatever that feeling may be- with having close to the same experiences as Donald Davis(if you've never heard his tapes, do so- they keep kids quiet & they are, at times, immensely funny.) which is to say that he had the words, 'he's gonna have to have... braces... save your money for...braces...' coming from tooth specialists all around. As it turns out, Jared is just one of a long line of class 2 bites- which means...braces...for Jared.

-Sorry I'm late to blog- it's just that I had strep throat yesterday and had to retire to the sack early.

- Today, I started Art(an elective that comes automatically with shop- I did it for the art half), and I think my art teacher would be third on the list that I posted earlier- though as John Bytheway says, sometimes they start nice and get meaner later on. I also am entering the second quarter, and am happy to report that so far in the quarter I have straight A's. I am so good!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Trunk-R-Treat: Halloween Game 1

-Well, I guess you could say this is a very up-and-down season for the Cougars, and I'm sorry I couldn't come to the Big Game- though this was, of course, due to all the LHWB(Long Hours of Work in the Backyard)- to supply a flash funding for what has become known here in the Dixon household as the Uncle Nigie Trip- and also due to the Trunk-R-Treat cardboard maze(more on that later). I also regret that I won't be there to watch the Cougs play the Dawgs in the Rose Bowl- though I will be doing the third best thing, which is listening to it on the radio.

- Just a random thought from the Seth department: Isn't it strange how all the bad stuff that happens to the Deacons while passing the sacrament that everybody seems bound to notice just slips right over your head when you're 1-11 years old? I think it is, anyway.

-Back on subject now. This All Hallows Eve(don't you love to say that?), the Deacon's Quorum carried out on something- a very rare thing, since most things on the calender actually happen a month later(I'm the secretary, I should know)- and made a 30 square foot cardboard maze complete with dead ends, flashing lights, strange gooshy things scattered around the maze, a Dummies' Grave(a passage that goes in a circle), little doors on the top to reach in & grab the people coming through, and places for us to hide & scare little kids(we did this in just 2 hours- we had a pretty good turnout on that). I called it Game 1 because it really does seem to be made up of rounds, made up of costume parties & the like, and a knockout round(Halloween) after which the parents snap and take away the costumes & loot until next year, when they are feeling better and the memories have faded. Then, the whole thing starts all over again.

-Thanks for reading, & I should have some good stories next time- As Uncle Nigel says(and maybe others, though I have no experience of this), stay tuned.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

The Reds win again

-Well, a pretty brutal game from Everton(one yellow card, two red cards) but a better one from Liverpool, I guess- although to see the article, you would've thought that Everton won. The author is obviously a fan. Here's hoping this is a break to all those ties...

-Anyway, I was thinking(on my route, of course- that's also the time when I ponder the mysteries of the universe, though I have not come up with any theories.) and I decided not just to include my opinions in this post, but also try to work in some of my life. We'll see how this works. I guess a lot of my free time is spent either playing outside or following the Reds, but this week the Deacon's quorum is making that spook house I told you about two weeks ago. As it turns out, we are very, very, very lucky- the leader has an in-law with property right next to the parking lot where we're doing the Trunk-R-Treat- and who has kindly obliged to let us set the cardboard contraption(we're using about twelve refrigerator boxes and five wardrobe boxes) up there. I'm also helping with an eagle project today at nine(am- whew!) and my dad is probably also hoping to incorporate me into the big dig(the drainage system to stop the basement flooding again) today, though I don't think I'm going to do it this week for want of watching the Liverpool game that Aunt T has recorded.

-I've also been thinking about towels(great subject, huh?). Caroline is a nut on decision-making when it comes to towels, as is Miriam and my mom. They think a good towel shows your personality- Dad's, a GAP towel, sports his college days; Mom's towel, a fuzzy purple one, shows her indifference to money beside comfort(at least, this was the case three years ago); mine, varying from towel to towel(I just grab one out of the towel drawer), shows that I really don't care; Jared's is an NFL towel, obviosly stating the fact that he is a fanatic; Miriam's is a white princess towel, as is Caroline's(I really can't put my finger on what this means); etc., etc. Well, I guess that was a sort of dumb subject, but I had to get it out.

-And now te comic relief- Jacob. This week at the store, he had two quarters to spend. You know the Shel Silverstein poem- the casheir gave him three pennies back, and later, my mom overheard him later, saying that "I tricked that funny man at the store. hee, hee."

-This week in Hellth, we learned about phobias, such as hydrophobia- the fear of water- or octophobia- the fear of the figure eight. I just thought it was funny that someone can be afraid of that stuff. If you know any that are funnier than that, please tell me.

-And I'd just like to say thanks to Grandpa & Grandma for 'Kon-Tiki'- it's really helped in terms of reading goals and my English teacher's good list.

-Also, on the link title for Jared's blog: Jared has eight blogs, seven of which he has no password for. End of story.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

strange questions

-Hello, and welcome to Seth-land! I hope you will enjoy my latest thoughts that I've just now written down and broadcast all around the world. Here we go:

-I shall now report the two funniest things that happened today from funniest to least funny. First, I stapled my finger. Really. I was sitting around, being an absolute nuisance, when my mom thought up something for me to do. "Hey, Seth,"she yelled. "Could you fix this stapler?" I looked at the stapler. It was jammed. "OK, Mom," I said, opening it up, popping the staple out with a pen, and promptly putting my finger over the output and closing the staple compartment. There's this one really, really, really dumb thing about staplers that you see and then laugh about because it could seriously injure you someday, and that is that to close the staple compartment, you have to push the metal thing all the way down- and a staple comes out when you do. End of story. It's surprisingly painless, until it starts hurting. Second, I found a note in our recycling bin -when about to take the recycling/trash stuff back into the garage- along with a bunch of those big Costco animal cracker jars-one of them squished and mangled. Fearing that our trash man had developed anger issues and needed to be referred to a counseling center, I read the note. It said, "Sorry, won't fit in truck". Har, har! Funny, huh?

-After numerous debates among various members of our family on what the new baby's name should be, I am here to stop the madness. Anyone know a really good boy name that neither my mom nor my dad will not completely hate? Any name that I haven't thought of would help.

-Hey, out there, could you comment on my blog? I know it seems like a waste of time, but I need something to do-though if my mom has told you about the cute way I check on my blog every 2 seconds, I don't need something to do quite that badly.

-I've been thinking lately, and I've come up with a few strange questions that I can't come up with answers for. Here they are, along with small editorials here and there:

#1: How did our primitive ancestors come up with smoking? As John Bytheway puts it, maybe it went something like this:
'Hey, Bill,' yells a primitive ancestor. 'Hey, look at this plant.' He takes a bite of it. 'Hey, I feel funny!' He then sets it on fire, carves a pipe for it, and puts it into his mouth so that he can 'feel funny' all the time.

#2: When and under what mental incapabilities did someone invent a bad word for poop and a bad word for pee? You might as well say 'poop' instead of getting in deep trouble just to be tough at the same time as stating that you must use the porcelain.

#3: Why do we lie? All it does is make us more and more cautious, and then you can't do anything at all, including talk, while you analyze what someone just said to see if you think they might be telling a whopper. It also makes us so darn mad at each other-! I think being mad is turning into one of Satan's most successful tools- as my mom points out during scripture study, look at what happened to the Lamanites when they got mad- their population is decimated, they retreat into the depths of the Land of Nephi, and they are nice and humble doing their little wicked things over there until somebody comes to stir them up again. Same story with the Palestinians- stop being too mad to think and leave that desolate little piece of land to the Israeli's and move somewhere else, for heaven's sake!

#4: How does a speedometer work? Okay, okay, this one is a simple one- compared to the rest- and no, I do not want a lecture on this one. In fact, if you're tempted to give me a science lecture, just pretend I never said it and I'll probably delete it in time.


From here, it only gets worse, so I'm cutting it off at that! (As I say, applause is appropriate at this time.)

Friday, October 5, 2007

goodwill

- Hi, folks! I'm back-yes, that guy you keep hoping will forget to blog- Almost as much as you hope that one guy named Al with 8671/2 pierces stuck into his right ear to forget to come to your party. Moooovving on...

-Today Jared and I were tossed downstairs to do a deep clean of our room. I must say, this subject has been rather mired down by advertising jingles, dumb jokes, and homework poems/stories, so I won't dwell on it long. We proceeded to take down our mattresses and dismantle the bed frame so we could take it out of our room. We concluded that we didn't really need to move the bed shortly after the frame gave an unsettling crack and a screw protruded out of the wood. After putting it more or less together and pounding in the unruly screw, we looked at the bed and decided to have 2 beds- that way, I wouldn't have such a long way to fall and Jared didn't have an ominous weight hanging over him. Anyway, we cleaned the room thoroughly, waited for the unruly buggers to sneak out of the trash bags and buckets of 'put-away stuff', and cleaned the room thoroughly again, this time putting everything into the Goodwill pile. Take one look at the pile, and you know that the Goodwill people must have an awful lot of goodwill. I am now waiting for the smart unruly buggers to mess everything up again.

-I'm glad to be the first to spill the beans: My mom is having a boy! No more Barbies! No more Polly Pockets! Above all, no more uber-expensive crappy plastic designer clothes;^)-! I swear, you can just hear Mom's budget sighing in relief.

-I must report that I am saddened at the Cougars performance on the football field, though I guess I have no control whatsoever over that. However, as Uncle Nigel said, it's a good thing we're a basketball school.

-Today, I took another step towards that far-off notion of becoming a grown-up: I just now figured out that the real fun of Halloween is not in toiling up the hill to old Mrs. Hicks' house, It's in staying home and making a spook house for the Trunk-R-Treat. That way, you can just eat your favorite candy that your parents bought anyway and make little kids hide in their candy buckets(they're big enough; I once saw a kid whose costume was a candy bucket with 2 holes drilled in the bottom for his legs and duct tape holding it up.). It's 'fun'.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Lawnmowing and Mr. Ugly: the unaccredited farce

-It looks like I'm back. My last blog was sort of pointless, so today we have an actual story for the title story. I think I'm getting the hang of Blogging, so my blogs will probably become increasingly duller and duller until one of you guys works up the nerve to tell me that I'm getting a little rusty. Anyway, see what you think:

-We are still trying to include Kai in our prayers, and all of us are hoping. Again, don't give up hope, Scott & co.!

-I shall now try to begin to explain to you in plain words(I wanted a live video feed, but my dang mom shut the whole operation down with my mouse over the button labeled 'BUY*'. The total cost -yes, camera and everything- would have cost (L)2,569.99.Okay, maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration and okay, maybe I'm going a bit overboard with this, but there you go. Anyway, here it is:



-8:30 and time to coax Mr. ugly out of his lair. I crawl slowly through the uber-expensive equipment/cheap junk piled around this holy grail of ugly lawnmowers, talking calmly and reassuringly, saying things like 'Mr. Uuugly...' a growl issues from the center of his fortress. I find him. Though I have witnessed this sight many times, I can not resist shuddering. Grease-n-grass encases the entire upper half of him, while the bottom consists of a large bowl-like metal thing with a blade in the middle. The wheels are screwed to the outside of the bowl, and the motor is screwed to the top. The handle sticks out at an unlikely angle, and there are many other battle scars he has from what he likes to think is pursuing evildoers at astonishing speeds of 2+ mph. Like I said, he has many battle scars, but from his point of view, that's not a big deal for what he accomplishes- He does effortlessly behead over 500,000 enemies weekly. Anyway, I carefully dragged him out of the garage, thinking thoughts of gigantic gory battles with Mr. Ugly in the middle of it(I swear he can read minds... Oh, well, it's worth a try.). I yell "RESUME CHASE!" and yank the cord. Mr. Ugly belches, coughs, and roars to life! Despite his need to be shaken every half pass, he does have a surprisingly powerful engine. I sigh with relief, and start mowing. Though you do need to be careful of the fact that he has only 3 wheels(both physically and mentally), the hard part is over-! After mowing, I cruise into the garage, leave Mr. Ugly at the outside of his home(he doesn't like escorts) and go do whatever. Whew!

-It looks like that's about all I can say, so I guess I'm going to go do whatever. Bye for now, and good luck with everything!